Stop Being Fat

92d71422d374b35d2a7f935fb4e98269.500x213x18If you’re fat and don’t wish to be, there are no excuses. No one cares about your reasons. You can justify your physical state to yourself as much as you’d like, but in the light of day, you’re still fat and have to deal with the societal, health, and self esteem issues that go along with it. There is nothing complicated about dropping the body fat and developing a lean, muscular, healthy physique.

  • Keep the carbohydrates low.
  • Keep the cardio high.
  • Lift weights like you mean it.
  • Lay off the booze.

Do this consistently and the fat melts off as you reshape your body and your mind.

Q: What do you mean by keep the carbs low?
A: I mean stop eating them. You don’t need breads, oatmeal, cereal, pasta, rice, and potatoes.

Q: Then what do I eat?!
A: Lean proteins, healthy fats, certain veggies. You eat dead animals, lots of them. You add some olive oil, cashews, pecans, almonds, walnuts, or natural peanut butter. You throw in some broccoli, cauliflower, squash, asparagus, spinach or romaine lettuce. That’s it. That’s what you eat. Every meal, every day.

Q: What do you mean by keep the cardio high?
A: I mean do some high intensity cardio. 20-30 minutes of high intensity, interval type cardio 4-5 times a week.

Q: What do I do for cardio?
A: Sprints, hill sprints, run stairs, swing a sledgehammer at a tire, grab heavy dumbbells and walk with them really fast.

Q: What do you mean by lift weights like you mean it?
A: I mean don’t screw around with little exercises with baby weights. I mean squat, lunge, Deadlift, bench press, pull-up, rows, dips. If you try to get strong, you’ll be lifting like you mean it.

Q: I like to drink.
A: You’re fat, remember? Drinking keeps you fat and makes you stupid. Save your money and do something productive. Drink water.
So now you know what to do. If you’re not sure what a lean dead animal is, look it up. Use the google. If you don’t know how to squat, learn. If you can’t quit drinking, join AA. Take charge of your life and look good naked. Enough is enough already.

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